From keeping up with the day’s scary headlines to going months without seeing friends, it’s safe to say we’re all feeling the quarantine blues. One redeeming reality is: we’re all in this together. Including our faves. Following our “Transformation” Digital cover story in February, PAPER reached out to Kesha — an artist who seems capable making a good time out of any situation — to find out how she’s holding up in lockdown.
Being in quarantine has definitely been a test. I haven’t been alone for more than about one day since “TiK ToK” came out. This whole situation has made my anxiety spike on occasion. I feel restless. Sometimes creative. Some moments I can’t motivate myself to do much and then the next moment I feel guilty I’m not doing enough. Sometimes it reminds me of being grounded in middle school, but I always found a way to sneak out back then, but this time I have to be responsible and put what’s best for everyone above my personal wants… soooo I’m not sneaking out. I’m stuck home and life is on pause. There are moments I’m just angry at the virus. I’m pissed that COVID19 is hurting and scaring people, keeping me from my fans and work and friends and family and my tour family that I have never missed more. But then I check myself.
“I haven’t been alone for more than about one day since “TiK ToK” came out.”
Many times a day I get hit with gratitude. I have never felt more in awe and humbled by people, especially those on the front lines of this situation. The doctors and nurses and other first responders on the front lines of this amaze me — they are saving the lives of others, not sleeping, risking their own health. I’m awestruck watching how people are helping each other. I get overwhelmed seeing the beauty and selflessness in humanity that has become so visible with realizing how fragile we all are. It has restored such a sense of hope and faith in humanity for me.
With fewer distractions around me I often get trapped in my head and spin into a creative state here and there. I’ve been looking for ways to keep my overactive imagination occupied with the tools I have at my disposal to record music. In middle school when I was grounded, I learned how to sew and wrote songs. As an adult I’m learning how to make Tik Tok videos and record selfie videos.
“In middle school when I was grounded, I learned how to sew and wrote songs. As an adult I’m learning how to make Tik Tok videos and record selfie videos.”
I wish I could do so much more, but I realize that I am an entertainer and I’m honored to know that many of my fans, friends, and family are part of that group of amazing medical workers and first responders, so even though it’s a very small thing to contribute, I’m trying to be active on my social channels with silly videos and pictures because maybe one of the few mildly useful things I can do right now is to be a positive distraction.
I’ve been in a very nostalgic mood, digging through old pictures and clothes and re-exploring all of the boxes I’ve been carrying around for the last 10 years, never having the time to take stock of it all. I feel like I’m shopping in my own house. I also am so appreciative of all of the memories and shows I have played around the world. I’m re-reading fan letters. I have so many insane beautiful memories, and I know there’s so much more where that came from.
For distraction I’ve been listening to my music collection. Also watching The Twilight Zone. I’m being drawn more and more to the timeless classics. Listening to my records at home feels luxurious. So I’m taking bubble baths, playing with cats, listening to records, following around my boyfriend dancing at him, writing music here and there and then having freak out moments. I highly recommend ruminating on anything from Dylan and Rolling Stones and T. Rex and sifting through boxes of memories.