It’s been 15 years since Kesha first signed with Dr. Luke in 2005, the producer who would later abuse her sexually, physically, verbally, and emotionally. And although she has finally been released from her contract, she still can’t forget everything that’s happened to her.

In a recent interview with Paper, Kesha discussed how difficult it has been to move forward with her life. She explained,

“I have a lot of beautiful nights. And then, I have nights where I sit up crying to myself because I have built up resentment. I want to cope with that. I don’t want to let it destroy me.”

It’s understandable that she wouldn’t be able to put everything behind her. Her legal battles and appeals have dragged on since 2014 and Kesha hasn’t been given the justice she deserves. There was even a point when it seemed like she would never be allowed to release music again.

“It sent me into a complete spiral. I couldn’t cope with it. [Making music] is all I’ve ever worked for. I’ve had one sole focus, one source of meaning in my entire life, and then… It was fucking terrifying.”

As the legal battles and appeals have dragged on, Kesha hasn’t had her day in court but she has, at least, been able to come to an agreement with her record label that allows her to keep making music (even though her success will still trickle down to benefit Dr. Luke). She’s since released her Rainbow, a vulnerable comeback album, and High Road, which returns to her dance music roots.

It certainly can’t be easy to try to move forward from trauma while being constantly reminded of it in the courtroom (and continuously losing the fight). Even so, Kesha is doing her best to keep moving forward. Her determination to thrive despite, all she’s been through, will hopefully be what finally brings her peace.


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